I try not to be too, too superstitious, but every now and then, the universe organizes its messages a little too neatly. Everywhere I turn I hear the same thing, and finally I start to think that maybe I should pay attention. Take breathing. Suddenly, everyone's telling me to breathe! Alia Thabit, who tells me to prep for the 90 Day Dance Party by breathing in time to the music. Or I do Hala Khouri's yoga DVD, and am struck by how much the breathing helps me unwind. Or my real life teachers are suddenly focusing much more on working with breath to create movement. Or I get an email from Rosa Noreen's Delicious Pauses Online Intensive, and she's going on about.... well, you can guess.
Okay, so I've figured out I should take a breath now and then. Maybe even when I'm moving. But another little synchronicity got my attention lately too. First, it came my way from Life is Cake, in the form of a video in which several dancers talk about the evolution of their style. What really hit me was Autumn Ward's contribution, which you can see here.
Autumn talks about a period in her life when she worked on a number of skills she thought would impress a nightclub crowd, and how she wound up returning to her own passion for intricate, lyrical dance. I thought it was so honest and vulnerable for her to talk about moments gone wrong (or at least awry) in her artistic path, and also so inspiring. It's so easy when doing creative work to get caught up in what we can't do, what other people can, and so on. And often that can be positive -- as Autumn points out, it can lead to acquiring new skills. But sometimes it's also key to remember where your passion is, what your strength is, what's authentic to yourself. And really, that's where the greater part of the effort needs to go.
Then Alia posted a quote from Seth Godin on her Facebook wall:
The ability to say, "It's not for you," is
the foundation for creating something brave and important. You can't do
your best work if you're always trying to touch the untouchable, or
entertain those that refuse to be entertained.
Now, that's pretty great stuff right there. I have no idea who this Seth Godin fellow is, but I'd buy him a cup of coffee if I saw him just because of that one blog post. What a wonderful line to keep in mind, not just for the living critics, but the imaginary critics who populate my head? "This is not for you, babe. Move on, there's nothing to see here."
"It's not for you."
This is easy to say and incredibly difficult to do. You don't have much choice, though, not if you want your work to matter.
Anyway, long story short, I put one and one together and figured the universe was telling me the following: first, however frustrated I sometimes get with myself in my dance classes, with the fact that I'm not further along than I really am, I needed to chill out, and also realise that at some point I'll have to figure out what kind of dancing I most want to do, even if my skills and technique still have a lot of developing to do. And second, in my real life work, which is also creative, I needed to care a lot less about what people might think if I were to carry it out precisely as I want to. And that latter bit was much more important. Because in way, the dance world was telling me what I had to do at work.
The result? This week I finished an important chunk of a long project, and in fact, the hardest section so far -- one I've been fighting with for more than a year. I rewarded myself by going to the wonderful local bellydance store, Saidi, and buying my first bedlah. It's turquoise, so much louder and more revealing than what I went in looking for, and just unapologetically glittery. I'm a big believer in spending money on instruction and not on costuming, but in this case, I had earned it.
And my dance classes were filled with all sorts of little moments of joy. First, in ballet, having our teacher ask us to do a flat back, and actually getting it right. I have struggled with the flat back for ages, so having her come by, take a look at me, and say "it's perfect" was like finishing a long hike. Or noticing that some of the armwork I did in the Aziza DVD was seeping its way into my bellydance class work. Or today, practicing those killer Soheir Zaki hips at home and finding that it actually made a difference when we drilled them.
Hmmmm.... I hear you wondering. Is there a moral to this long, rambling post? Basically:
1. Do what your passion tells you to do.
2. Enjoy small victories.
3. Try breathing once in a while.
Labels: Alia Thabit, arms, Autumn Ward, Aziza, ballet, bellydance, breathing, Hala Khouri, Rosa Noreen, Soheir Zaki